THEY WORE THE NUMBER 9!

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I’ve always reckoned but the heart of any football team isn’t central defenders or ball winning midfield players but the man in the number 9 shirt.   It’s his job to stick the ball away and in general if he’s doing that job properly then the team will be successful. So bearing in mind County’s staggering lack of success in the 80’s it could well be instructive to see who had the responsibility for the number 9 shirt and then perhaps see why we were a bottom of the League outfit for the better part of that decade.

During the seasons nineteen 1980/81 – 1989/90 County played 524 games in total, (made up of 460 League, 2 play off, and 62 assorted Cup ties), and the custodians of the number 9 contributed 169 goals. That in itself tells the tale –  17 goals a season from your main striker just isn’t good enough and looking at some of the names who turned out, (played is too strong a word in a lot of cases), you can certainly see why.

Some 43 players were entrusted with the shirt – the full list shows who they were –  and for those who bore the pain of following County over the period memories will be jogged and they won’t all be pleasant recollections. Having seen the majority of the games it will be easy to recall all sorts of incidents. However the demands of space and good taste limits me to make the following awards.

The ‘Jack Connor award for most prolific number 9’ goes to Mike Quinn for his contribution of 40 goals in 67 games. A lot of people criticise Quinny for lack of skill, but one thing is for certain he did his job and entertained us in all sorts of ways. For that reason he also gets the ‘EJ Parker of Preston Trophy’ for his unstinting contribution towards filling the pages of referees notebooks and in particular that of Mr Key of Rotherham who is managed to send him off 3 times, each with a different club.

A worthy winner of the ‘Danny Bergara Bad Boy Cup’ for the worst treated number 9 is Keith Edwards. To spend good money on a proven thoroughbred goal scorer and then treat him like a coal horse was nothing less than disgraceful. Despite that he still notched 11 goals and always looked like scoring but this still didn’t make Danny swallow his pride and play him in the Chesterfield play off games.  Instead we were treated to the likes of Brabin and Leonard.

The ‘Denis Law Trophy’ for the crowd pleaser of the decade has to go to the one and only Frank Worthington. For 20 games we were privileged to see a player who was the great entertainer of the English game for 20 years. We won’t see his like again because skill and flair such as he had are being strangled out of the game

Tony Caldwell wins the ‘Gary Birtles Worst Buy Award’ but only because Keith Alexander missed out by a season. In my considered opinion Caldwell was the most bone idle player ever seen in a County shirt. How on earth he managed to break sweat sufficiently to score five goals is a mystery in modern times. He’s now found his true level playing pub football somewhere in Salford.

The ‘Paul Gascoigne Trophy’ for exaggerated self importance can only go to Ian Chandler. A veteran of three goalless appearances whilst on loan from Barnsley he returned to Scargill country declaring that playing for County was beneath him. His ability was sufficiently outstanding to now leave him plying his trade for Whitley Bay having gone there by way of Aldershot. Enough said.

Wayne Entwistle gets the ‘Jim Gannon Pop Side Whipping Boy Medal’ the only difference being that whilst ‘Enty’ was totally inept Jim is a class player and anyone who says otherwise should open their eyes. How sides like Leeds and Sunderland paid money for Entwistle is beyond comprehension –  it took Hartford a season and a half to work out he was hopeless later – it took Hartlepool a game and a half.

The ‘Eric Webster Gold Clock for Long Service’ goes to Tony Coyle whose 42 appearances were spread over 8 years albeit with a temporary rest at Chesterfield. I’ll most remember him not for a goal but for being summoned from the tea bar to turnout in the nine man snowbound triumph at Bury in 1982.

The final award being the ‘Francis the Fans Favourite Trophy’ belongs to Oshor Williams. Not really a centre forward he did make five appearances with four goals. Oshor was a trier with more than a little skill and it was a crying shame when we had to accept Port Vale’s offer and an even bigger shame when he was invalided out of the game. All power to his elbow as he now seeks to turn around Halifax’s fortunes as their assistant manager.

It’s inevitable when 43 players have worn the number 9 there’ll be some who were good, plenty who were bad, a few who tried and many who didn’t. They’ll always be disagreement about the relative merits of players but I suggest that the following should never have been allowed to darken the door because they were talentless clueless and effortless . So these are awarded the ‘Medal of Dishonour’ in the hope that we never see their like again.

Neil Mills

Andy Stafford

David Wilkes.

At the end of it all the 80s were dark days and seeing some of those names it’s no wonder. So to those who’ve only just started following the boys you should be glad Big Kev is around now

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March 1992